Tag: journey

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It seems a bit of an oxymoron have to work so hard at taking it easy, but I am having to do just that. Trying to find those thermals to drift upon. That downhill part of the hike, but any hiker will tell you the downhill portions are the killers.

“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” Marie Curie

Don’t get me started on the search for the gift, that can be a real uphill hike.

Peace out….monos en theos ††† jasL

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Following my recent panic attack, that was probably one of the worst I have ever had, I am working hard to get that peaceful easy feeling. To rest in the comfort of me.

I had someone email me a great story about panic attacks that gave me a chuckle so here is a share:

A man once had panic attacks, but eventually, with much struggle, stopped having them. Years later, he ended up in a hospital, pain in his chest, and his doctor comes in to explain that he had had a heart attack. The man says, “Thanks God! I thought the panic attacks had come back!”

You just gotta  find a way to find comfort in your discomfort!

monos en theos ††† jasL

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Ah yes, some days just don’t go quite like you planned. One day your running free in the jungle and then you felt a little stick and you wake up behind bars with dry hay to eat instead of the fresh garden in which you ran free.

I just got released from the hold of a hospital bed. I felt it was just another of my familliar panic attacks, but my BP went to 247/143 with a pulse rate of 133. I took my regular meds, but just could not get it down and the need to breathe was getting harder and harder. So, we call 911 and it is off to the hospital. A bunch of nice people ( the EMT’s and hospital nurse’s were just incredible), but I would have much met them all someplace for a beer.

The cardiologist was firmly convinced I had experienced a heart attack and must have some blockage in my heart. So, pokes, prods, needles, ekgs, cardiograms of several types and the worst a chemical stress test. So strange to be injected with a drug and see and feel your heart race to 150 beats per minute in less than 60 seconds. Kind of felt like a panic attack.

And in the end, after all the tests it was what I originally thought, a panic attack.

I wonder if the gorilla has figured out his dilemma?

I”m living life free, as it should be, just as I am……peace out….jasL

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Crossing back to Texas

A late afternoon crossing of the Red River into Texas via Carpenters Bluff bridge.

Thought it very fitting to have and orange truck show up!

Sorry for the delay in posting. Same old fighting nagging health problems. Cross my fingers I am feeling better and am getting around a bit better. Last series of injections in my back were slow to provide relief, but the drugs seems to have finally found the right area.

Peace out, a special blessing to all our fighting men & women providing for our freedom. Not an advocate of war, but these folks are doing work I didn’t have to do and I thank them for my safe and warm sleep…….monos en theos†††jasL

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We headed out to Hagerman once again yesterday. The ground was a flood of Snow Geese. They would at some unknown to me signal to take flight. They seemed to be doing practice flight patterns whereby they would fly in circles and sometimes a gaggle would form a loose “V” formation. Just as quickly they would break up and all slowly without any pattern or plan all land once again. Then repeat the process again in thirty minutes or so.

With the current degree of turmoil in the world, It was majestic and to say the least, peaceful to watch nature’s mystery.

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Just as I find the outside flower pickin’s on the slim and fading away side. I discover the $5.00 bouquets of flowers from Albertsons provide not only a source of beauty for a good week or so. But give me a pretty and kind subject that sits still and poses for as long as needed.

Then the afternoon setting sun rays become reflected off the petals through the vision of a Lensbaby, and all is good.

Beauty feast through my eyes, life slows and becomes almost without season.

enjoy, monos en theos †† jasL

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Rainy days are made for:

A. Read a book

B. Movies

C. Naps

D. Play with old images in Photoshop

As the weather cools and our rainy season is upon us, my body is healing and now I wish I had some flowers to photograph. So, the second best thing is to pull up a summer made image and play around in Photoshop. Rainy day friend and all that.

Peace out.††† jas L

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My deaf rescue dog Grace is such a good friend. She knows how to pick me up when I am down. Every morning she greets me like she has never seen me before.

She is totally deaf except when I let out a loud sneeze ( sorry, I learned it from my dad). That scares the hell out of her and she runs to mama when I do let one blow.

My digestive disorders are almost in check. I was diagnosed with microscopic colitis. A nasty little bug, but the steroids they put me on seem to be doing the trick. Hell, they should cure most anything at $1300.00 for a one month dosage. Luckily I only have to take them for two months.

Still working on my back and hip problems. Had a cortisone injection in the left hip on Wednesday. Felt so good I will go back next week for one in my right hip.

Ah, the pleasures of living to become an old fart. Keep looking in the rear view mirror to see what falls off next…….monos en theos ††† jas L

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My wife, Susan, and I often fall into opposite sites of  corners when it comes to our favor of seasons. I fall ( no pun) into a general dislike of  things falling and fading. She is quick to remind me of my like of fall colors and of change in general, the flavor of turkey and pumpkin. The damp smells and subtle earthy color. She makes me see how it is is not so much  dying and dormancy. Rather a time of rest and hibernation. A time of rest and rebirth. Fading turns to endless warm tones of gold, brown and red.

Much like fall, change slowly overtakes me and peace filters up through the soles of my shoes and into my heart.

And so I pause. Move slowly. Take time to see, smell and feel the change. The rust tones fill me and i long for a slice of warm pumpkin pie with a dollop of whipped cream. I also receive the addied bonus of finding that hearts  that have grown close to us come to understand the inside of us better than we see.   monos en theos……jas L

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So part two of the Metamorphosis thing. The whole process just takes my mind to places I cannot quite put into place. I am sure the caterpillar has less of a thought process than me. But I got to figure when he goes into the cocoon thing, he has to figure this it it, I’m one dead bug. And then after a few days, weeks months whatever it takes, he awakes and emerges a whole new and different creature.

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
― Helen Keller

Enjoy both the closed and newly opened doors!   monos en theos †††† jas L