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Following my recent panic attack, that was probably one of the worst I have ever had, I am working hard to get that peaceful easy feeling. To rest in the comfort of me.

I had someone email me a great story about panic attacks that gave me a chuckle so here is a share:

A man once had panic attacks, but eventually, with much struggle, stopped having them. Years later, he ended up in a hospital, pain in his chest, and his doctor comes in to explain that he had had a heart attack. The man says, “Thanks God! I thought the panic attacks had come back!”

You just gotta  find a way to find comfort in your discomfort!

monos en theos ††† jasL

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Ah yes, some days just don’t go quite like you planned. One day your running free in the jungle and then you felt a little stick and you wake up behind bars with dry hay to eat instead of the fresh garden in which you ran free.

I just got released from the hold of a hospital bed. I felt it was just another of my familliar panic attacks, but my BP went to 247/143 with a pulse rate of 133. I took my regular meds, but just could not get it down and the need to breathe was getting harder and harder. So, we call 911 and it is off to the hospital. A bunch of nice people ( the EMT’s and hospital nurse’s were just incredible), but I would have much met them all someplace for a beer.

The cardiologist was firmly convinced I had experienced a heart attack and must have some blockage in my heart. So, pokes, prods, needles, ekgs, cardiograms of several types and the worst a chemical stress test. So strange to be injected with a drug and see and feel your heart race to 150 beats per minute in less than 60 seconds. Kind of felt like a panic attack.

And in the end, after all the tests it was what I originally thought, a panic attack.

I wonder if the gorilla has figured out his dilemma?

I”m living life free, as it should be, just as I am……peace out….jasL

Shades of Gray from Grayson Co, TX #908 – Praise from the White Heron

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What lifts the heron leaning on the air
I praise without a name. A crouch, a flare,
a long stroke through the cumulus of trees,
a shaped thought at the sky – then gone. O rare!
Saint Francis, being happiest on his knees,
would have cried Father! Cry anything you please

But praise. By any name or none. But praise
the white original burst that lights
the heron on his two soft kissing kites.
When saints praise heaven lit by doves and rays,
I sit by pond scums till the air recites
It’s heron back. And doubt all else. But praise.

Find your praise for the day! …† jas L

Shades of Gray from Grayson Co, TX #893- Green eating green


“To be astonished is one of the surest ways of not growing old too quickly”


I perhaps in a vain attempt to stay young, am astonished every time I open files of images any bug, flower or object of mother nature. Maybe it is the little boy in me but I am wowed with the beauty that exists in small things.

I know that bugs give some of us the yuck factor, but I am always amazed.

Stay young or die trying!…monos en theos…..james L work